Grouse tells her that she has a future in IT.īack at the high school, Luna tells Mrs. Luna steps in and manages to fix it, stating that she learned about computers from recording music.
He tries to debug code on a computer, but then a "Catastrophic Error" pops up. After Luna adds more bacon, Scoots complains that the cheese smells bad, which Luna removes, but then Scoots complains there's too much bacon, causing Luna to snap and her Dad takes over. With Scoots as her first customer, she serves her a salad, but she complains that she asked for extra bacon. With dental hygiene not working out for her, Luna goes to work with her Dad as a waiter at the Aloha Comrade restaurant. After watching her Mom clean out so much gunk from his teeth and tried to remove a false tooth made from beef jerky, Luna faints. Taking Lisa's advice, Luna goes to work with her Mom as a dentist, and Flip comes in for his checkup, which Rita notes that he is ten years overdue. Lisa then suggests that she tries careers based on health care, food service, and technology. She confides to her little sister how she is worried about her future and can't find any other way to fit into the music business other than being a rock star. Back at home, Lisa is making her weekly DNA cheek swabs and notices Luna looking despondent. Then, Luna gets hired to be DJ at a karaoke bar, but then she is fired after interrupting Mrs. Luna starts off with applying at a record store and is hired, but after scaring off her first customer, she is fired.
So, she sets out on finding a better career in music. Luna and Chunk prepares for the Royal Rumble. He then pulls over to pick up an old washing machine, and Luna begins to worry that she won't make it as a rock star and will end up living in a van, just like Chunk. During the trip back home, Luna asks him about it and Chunk shows her his yearbook and finds his name, along with the words, "Next stop, rock 'n' roll fame!". Vaporciyan then meets Chunk and recognizes him as Chester Monk, since she was his first teacher in his first year after moving from England, and tells Luna that he also headlined the Royal Rumble. Vaporciyan tells her that she passed and Luna excitedly exclaims, "Next stop, rock 'n' roll fame!". After her performance (and a stage dive), Mrs. Luna meets Chunk in the driveway, who was sleeping in his van so he wouldn't be late for her audition for the Royal Rumble. There is, however, one excellent and breathtaking moment which lasts several seconds.Luna learns Chunk was like her in high school, and worries that her ambition to be a rocker is unrealistic. The written-to-order music at the opening and closing credits sounds like a Ghost of Tom Joad-era Bruce Springsteen parody - not Tom Russell‘s finest work. Much of the picture is dark and nondescript (or, as your filmmaker friend would protest, noir). And maybe Italy or Cuba and a guy with a hat. On the downside, there’s a murky plot involving gunshots heard inside some house at night, and a plane, and a lake, and some money, and a tunnel.
And there’s Cliff DeYoung, who starred in the 1973 TV movie Sunshine. Sometimes the only clue as to which you’re watching is the relative woodenness of the acting.Īside from this device, there’s also Shannyn Sossamon, a very attractive, brooding brunette with a disarming smile that she can flash on demand - and repeatedly does. Road to Nowhere jumps back and forth between its inner movie and the making of that movie without warning. Rather than simply offering weak performances and brain-dead plot development, Hellman’s flick gives us multiple levels of these, with a generous side of moviemaking pretentiousness.
This is the gimmick driving Monte Hellman‘s aptly titled muddle, Road to Nowhere.
Now imagine a lame drama about the making of a lame drama based on some dim crime, in which characters are not only themselves, but also fictionalized portrayals of themselves as well as actors doing the portraying.